Today at about 2.24pm, I ran like my life depended on it. I was trying to catch the train to New Carrollton. When I heard a train pull up into the subway while I was still trying to swap my card through the entrance, the rate of my heartbeat doubled. Well, kind of. I was worried that I would miss the train. So the first impulse when I got off the escalator was to increase my speed in order not to miss it. As I got to the front of the door, the train went "panpan-pan pan" and shut the door.
Was I embarrassed! Those who had watched me race down the escalator looked in my direction-- I couldn't tell if it was pity or empathy I saw in their eyes. I looked away quickly. They could have as well been shaming me. I grinned sheepishly, at my own ridiculousness-- I raced to finish but only to miss it. I felt very bad to have narrowly missed the opportunity.
As the train pulled away, leaving me behind, I noticed that it was actually the blue line! A wrong route! In my desperation not to miss the train, I hadn't considered that the train in question could have possibly been heading another direction-- far from my destination. I had been stubbornly persistent. For nothing.
What would have happened if I had gotten on the train? I might have realized my error and gotten off at the next stop. Or worse, not even paid attention while reeling in triumph for beating the odds only to find myself in an area I didn't plan to be- the wrong spot.
That is how life is sometimes. We are persistent, but about the wrong things. Racing through life at the speed of lightening but towards the wrong direction. In the quest to "make it", we find ourselves chasing the wrong dream, paddling the wrong canoe, punching the wrong bags. Hoping against hope, for the wrong reasons.
If we hit the brake pad of our life, we would save ourselves from much agony. Some seconds pause on that flight of escalator was just what I needed to have noticed that the train I needed to board was a minute away from the station. All I could have done was look up at the notice board, pause and wait.
Not everyone gets lucky to have a wrong door shut in their faces. Not all of us get to realize that some opportunities we miss or lose are because they are the wrong doors! No matter how hard we work for them or how sweet they appear, I really pray that God Almighty will always shut the wrong doors in our faces when we stubbornly keep chasing them. Have mercy, Yeshua!
There is no shame in retracing or repenting. Trust me, there is no shame in setting things right. People will laugh and shame you. But which will you rather have? A long-term applause for being on the wrong route or a short-term shame and ridicule for having the courage to retrace your steps towards the right direction?
An absolute surrender to God is what most of us need to get started, no matter how far we have strayed, or what wrong door we might have walked through, or how discouraged we might feel at the moment for missing that "opportunity".
Mercy still speaks!! Embrace His mercy, on your knees.
Hear our good, good Father's promise:
"I will teach you in the way that you should go," says the Lord, "I will guide you with my loving eyes and watch over you." Psalm 32:8.
The next verse goes on to counsel us not to be like the mule who needs bridle and rope to keep it on track. In order words, stubborn persistence is unnecessary when we trust and obey His guide.
I hope this blesses you as it has blessed me.
Stop racing in oblivion. Slow down. Focus. Get off the wrong track.
Shalom!
--
Jennifer Ehidiamen
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